I'm getting it!

I've been feeling blue and bluer for the past few weeks. I kept wondering why, was it something I ate? Was it hormonal?

The retarded side of me finally caught up with the emotional side of me.

I got like 5 different people asking me about our baby making plans in the past week. All with good and kind intentions. And usually after I answer their question with, "we've been trying for almost 6yrs, I'm medically challenged with endometriosis...." They would usually follow by "how about trying this?...." Which is actually a very elementary methods in comparison with someone who has BEEN trying for almost 6yrs!

Its like asking a cancer patient if surgery/chemo/radio therapy would help them. Dun they realize that the patient themselves WOULD be the most concerned about their situation and therefore would have tried any ways necc.?

Occasionally, there'll be something innovative that comes along, I'm getting magazine cut ups about pregnancy, CHILD RAISING! Like hello!! I'm freaking barren, why in the world do I want to read about raising a child when I cannot even HAVE one??

I realized that all these questions are adding a toll on me, me fragile heart cannot take it.

When I get "asked", I feel as if I have failed as a woman to deliver what is primitively my role on earth. I feel as if I've done something wrong, committed a crime or something. Or as if I've not been doing enough.

If I were to seriously calculate the amount of time I've spend sitting in the clinic waiting for my turn to see the doc, I think it would be enough to take a trip round the world with it. If we want to calculate the amount of $ spent on it, it would be enough to pay for the trip round the world as well.

Was chatting with one used-to-be-close friend and telling him that we're trying alternative methods for trying to conceive naturally. And guess what was his response? "Huh? You are still trying ah?"

Woah, that hurt, really hurt. Like a million knives into my heart. What do you mean "still trying?" We have never stopped wanting our own child mind you! Its ok if you want to lead a care-free life without the burden of children, but me, I love kids, I love to be pregnant with our own kid, love to take care of them and watch them grow. Nurture them and share a life with them. And being a friend who has known me for 12years, I expect alot more than that "Huh? You are still trying ah?"

I'm so tired of been asked this same question.

I have a medical condition that causes terrible pain monthly.

I have a medical condition that makes it so challenging for me to give birth.

Is it not painful enough already? I get reminded every month of my condition, whether I like it or not. Do I need more concerns from people who barely know my pain to dig into the wound more?

I need some creative answers to shut people's mouth once and for all! Anyone with some good suggestions to share? Help me out of this agony!