Increasing intensities of frustrations

Last week, there was this night when I felt extreme frustration over nothing!

There was so much pent up anger and a million bubbles trying to jump out of my skin that I could not fall asleep. I knew that if I were to vent my anger or frustration at my hubby, it would be extremely unfair, so I forced myself to go to bed.

The feeling of discomfort emotionally started in the evening when I had to rush to a few places before heading home to get food into my stomache. When I got home, food was not ready as promised by my hubby, instead, he only came back after 9pm. I wanted to go to bed early but because of the late dinner, I could not be sleeping at 10pm that night. (I was feeling abit agitated by not being able to carry out my plan of having an early night)

Over dinner, we caught part of a reality show in the final episode, just before the announcement of the results, during the commercial break, my hubby asked me to find something for him in the study. We searched for a long time and could not find it, and i missed the results of the show. I was really really pissed!!

I slammed my mobile phone onto the table, thankfully over a stack of newspapers to soften its landing and I knew I would go into a fit if I were to talk anymore to anyone. There was simply too much anger & frustrations inside me.

This was not the only incident when I feel like I'm not myself. I become alot more self-centered. I used to be alot more caring about others and able to put others' interest before mine, but now, I often think of myself first. Feeling injustified that others do not think likewise.

I am just shock at how much effects this tiny thing called hormones can have on my body. Besides just stopping menstration, it is turning me around emotionally and creating a different me that I do not personally like.

I hope I can survive through the next two months without further hassle.....

just two more jabs to go....